“What if” she doesn’t like what I get her for Christmas?

“What if” my dinner doesn’t turn out?

“What if” I don’t get everything done, or live up to expectations?

“What if” he gets mad? (This is a sad and daily question for many people living in fear of anger, abuse is increased during the holidays).

“What if” questions put the power in the “if” and take power away from you. “What if” questions take power away from your thoughts, your knowledge and your experiences.

Putting power in “if” reduces us and takes strength away.

Could we answer the “What if” questions with “So what”?

“So what” if she doesn’t like it, I tried my best, gave it thought and my motive was right.

(Ask yourself, what did you learn from the reaction?)

“So what” if my dinner doesn’t turn out. I learned from the experience, created a memory and there is a pizza in the freezer.

“So what” if I don’t get everything done. I did what I could and people will not notice the dust on the light bulbs.

“So what” if he gets mad. I fully recognize how complicated and threatening it is to leave an abusive relationship. It takes tremendous strength, solid support and advice to reach the “so what” in this situation. “So what” starts a life of freedom.

Much of what I do as a coach is to help people think and act in different ways, in ways that grow and strengthen you, and take you out of your comfort zone. For those of you living in fear of anger, I can provide the strength, support and advice you need to answer with “so what.”

My Christmas wish is that you give thought to your “what if” questions and the “so what” answers. Merry Christmas!

Susan Salvo RN

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